Let me hear of your loving kindness in the morning, for I put my trust in you; Show me the road that I must walk, for I lift up my soul to you….
Revive me, O lord, for your name’s sake;
For your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
- Psalm 143: 8, 11
It’s hard to know where to begin in this altered universe in which we now all live. I have experienced such a mixture of feelings and they change day to day. I suspect that is true for you too. Some days I am fearful, particularly concerned for my son who is an emergency room doctor and feeling the stresses of an unprepared and overwhelmed system. I am broken-hearted and shared grief with those who have lost a loved one.
On other days, I am profoundly grateful to have my family at home, safe and sound (so far), and for the smallest things that I might have taken for granted in the rush of normal life:
--my backyard garden where we have enjoyed al fresco dinners each night in beautiful spring weather;
--our small pond filled with baby fish born last week,
-- birdsong which seems particularly joyful and profuse ,
-- time to clean out boxes of memorabilia in our attic, poignant and humorous life memories
--small shoots of every hue of green imaginable appearing on trees and plants.
--good news about the healing of our planet, as we have ceased activity….less pollution and clear water in the Venice canals!
--technology that allows me to be in touch with people and groups I love.
Last week, a friend sent me this:
There is a famous Taoist story of “Maybe,” about a farmer whose luck swings back and forth between extremes—he loses his horse, but then gets more horses, his son is injured but then avoids conscription in the army—and whose only response when his neighbors ask about these events is “Maybe.” It may be my son hurting himself was bad luck, then again, maybe not.
The main idea, as Alan Watts notes, is: “The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity. And it is really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad. Because you never know what will be the consequences of a misfortune. Or you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune….” In other words you shouldn’t overreact to any life event, good or bad.”
That is wise and provocative advice…..but it’s hard to take in as we listen to the news and see the excruciating personal toll of this pandemic. It is utterly human to react to “good” events with joy and “bad” events with sorrow or disappointment.
But I think there’s something wise here to contemplate. When I allow myself to breathe, to pray, and to reflect more deeply, I can already see the “maybe” in this situation. For in this most challenging, isolated, fearful and grief-filled time I see positive things emerging from our shared experience: our connectedness, time to relate with loved ones, lessons in human equality—for no one is exempt from the reach of corona, community spirit, generosity, creativity about ways to spend time, humorous memes circulating online, gratitude in abundance for what I normally take for granted, and discovery of new ways of living in presence.
I’m wondering: What positive consequences have you experienced? What are your “maybe’s”?
Prelude in C Major - J. S. Bach
Gracious God, in the midst of all that is human-- fear, lack of trust, grief and sadness--help me to trust in You and to reflect with gratitude on each day and the small things that revive me and bring me out of trouble. Amen.
