What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from desires that battle inside you? You desire but you do not have, so you kill. You covet, but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you don’t ask God.
- James 4:1-3
God may not give you what you want but he will always give you what you need.”
-Philippians 4:4
The Dalai Lama is quoted as saying, “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” How true this is. Human Beings since the time of the hunter gatherers have been hardwired to strive to get what they want. It is a matter of survival. There is a whole network of neurotransmitters in the brain that fuel the Thrill of the hunt, chemicals that stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. This was important to the survival of ancient people in hunting fierce prey for the sake of feeding themselves and their families. Modern people are influenced by this brain physiology as well. Cerebral hormones play a role in our striving to get that job promotion, to purchase that new car, or to date the girl we are smitten with, the list goes on…… What happens when we aren’t successful in the hunt to get what we want? Sometimes we get angry.
James sums it up well in this passage, and Paul describes anger we feel when someone else gets what we were working to gain in his letter to the Philippians. Wanting something and striving to get it are admirable traits. Nothing is gained without hard work. Many times the effort pays off and we succeed. When it seems we are unsuccessful after much effort however, consider the knowledge we’ve gained in the quest. If everything was given to us without effort, we wouldn’t learn anything. Not getting what you want can be a great learning experience.
Sometimes when we fail to get what we want, we ask ourselves, does God have another plan for us?
I retired from the practice of Obstetrics and Gynecology four years ago. Our dream was to travel. We made one memorable trip to Spain and Portugal and were planning our next great adventure when Covid-19 hit. We cancelled our trip to Europe. We then cancelled the Trinity Medical Mission to the Dominican Republic. We hunkered down. About this time, I was approached by a friend whose daughter was having complications with her pregnancy. I met with this wonderful woman and was able to advise her to seek the care of a specialist and I was able to make the proper introductions and help her to get the care she needed. It was a complicated case requiring hospitalizations, and I was humbled that I could help guide her and support her and her family through it all.
Shortly after this my nephew developed a severe infection in the blood and heart (sepsis) while on a trip to Chicago. I became the family spokesperson. I was fortunate to have daily consultations with the treating physicians and write a daily blog advising the family on his progress during his 3-week hospitalization. This brought me closer to his sister, mother and father. He fortunately made a full recovery. Had I been traveling in Europe I wouldn’t have been available to help.
We didn’t go where we wanted to go, but we went where we needed to be. Covid has forced us to rethink our priorities, to let go of our desire to be in control and to humbly go where God leads us.
Musical Reflection - You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones
