They bless with their lips, but in their hearts they curse. For God alone my soul in silence waits; truly, my hope is in him.
- Psalm 62: 5-6
“All that music in your mouth
Rivers rushing to your teeth
Surging streams through wading valleys
Flooded language tributaries
Connect and cover over me
Tensing jaw & cork screw eyelids
As if you couldn't bare to see
All that water roaring from you
Collecting clouds inside the ballroom
Over people who don't know you
But darling I do”
– Kevin Devine, She Stayed as Steam
My lips betray me. Sometimes. Words tumble past my teeth with little consideration for their truth or possible impact – but not in a way you would think. I’m a nice monster. I’m full of positivity and an expert at making any problem an opportunity for growth or perspective. And I’m my own worst victim.
If I can quickly wrap beautiful words around a pulsating, painful heart – will it hurt less?
The silence and stillness of God make space for the pain to exist without words of explanation. How I long to ‘be still and know’ that God is listening to all the truths of my heart – beyond the pretty packaging and in spite of it.
“All that water roaring from you . . . over people who don’t know you. But darling, I do.”