A Hypothetical Dinner Party

22May
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.”
-John 21: 15-19 


Recently, I was asked a question. “If you could invite anyone to a dinner, dead or alive, who would you ask?” The group I was with began listing many giants of history, theater, and music, as well as political leaders and social justice warriors. The list of potential guests seemed endless. As each name was discussed, we deepened the conversation to include what questions we would ask the person. It was clear. We wanted answers to life’s biggest, most difficult, and mysterious questions. 


In today’s Gospel, Jesus, who I have no doubt would have all of the answers at our hypothetical dinner party, was the one asking the questions. Jesus has revealed himself to the disciples, and they are eating breakfast on the beach. During an ordinary meal, Jesus begins to address Simon Peter, or Simon, son of John, rather than simply calling him Peter. Is Jesus giving Peter a chance to redeem himself after the three denials by using his name from the past? The old Peter? 


Jesus asks Peter twice, “Do you love me?” using the Greek word for love, “agape.” In other words, do you have total, faithful, to-the-end love? A pure, unearned love for God and humanity, totally unconditional love? That is a huge, intimidating ask. Peter responds with an emphatic YES, using the word “phileo”, or brotherly love. So, Jesus asks, “Do you “agape” (totally, faithfully, unconditionally) love me?” and Peter responds. “Yes, I “phileo” (brotherly, deeply affectionately) love you.” At this point in the story, I let out a deep sigh. Oh, come on, Peter, can’t you see what Jesus is asking for? 


The amazing plot twist in the story is that the third time Jesus asks the question, he switches the word for love to “philia” or “phileo”, meeting Peter where he is. Peter can’t seem to get all the way to the unconditional love Jesus is asking for, but surprisingly and thankfully, Jesus doesn’t seem to mind. Peter isn’t shamed, or demoted, or rejected. He is charged with important tasks. Three very important tasks. “Feed my lambs.”, “Tend my sheep.” and “Feed my sheep.” As I read the story in the Gospel more carefully, I am humbled and convicted over my previous judgement of Peter. I am struck by an important lesson. What an amazing gift that Christ meets us where we are. And he accepts the love we are able to offer, however feeble our love may be. If we are sincere in our efforts to love and serve God by feeding and tending to our community and world, our love will grow. I came across the following prayer regarding today’s Gospel and it certainly sums up my hope for my own life and for our world, “Let us offer the poor crumbs of phileo-love that we have and ask that in his hands, they be multiplied and turned into agape of God and neighbor.” 


Musical Reflection - My Song is Love Unknown - John Ireland


 My song is love unknown–

my Savior’s love to me;

love to the loveless shown,

that they might lovely be.

Oh, who am I, that for my sake

my Lord should take frail flesh and die?


Here might I stay and sing,

no story so divine;

never was love, dear King,

never was grief like thine.

This is my friend,

in whose sweet praise

I all my days

could gladly spend. Amen.


-Samuel Crossman, Hymn 458

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