Seeing in the Light

11Jan
Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, ‘If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.’ They answered him, ‘We are descendants of Abraham and have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean by saying, “You will be made free”?’
-John 8:31-42 


My eyeglasses have honey-colored frames. They are almost the same color as the top of the nightstand where I ritually put my glasses every night so they are ready for me in the morning. When I forget to place them in their place, it can be difficult to find them in the morning, because my groggy old eyes cannot see them. If I curl my index finger into itself it creates a tiny aperture. When I hold the aperture to my eye, as a lens, I can see a small puddle of focused truth in my fuzzy morning world. There they are.


The exercise always reminds me of C. S. Lewis’ essay, Meditation in a Toolshed. Stepping into the darkness of his garden toolshed on a sunny Oxford day, Lewis notices a tiny shaft of sunlight coming from a hole in the roof. It pierces the darkness, illuminating specks of floating dust on its way to the floor. The shaft of light has its own beauty. Moreover, spilled light informs Lewis’ understanding of the darkness. 


After marveling at the dance of the illuminated dust, Lewis moves his eye into the shaft of light and looks along it. Once his eye adjusts, he sees a boundless universe beyond his dark shed: treetops, clouds, and birds, all in perfect focus. “Looking at the light and looking along the light are two different experiences” of the same truth, Lewis observes. Looking at the light, one sees aspects of the truth, a point-of-view of the truth. Looking along the light demands that the viewer is within the light, daring to become a part of the truth. 


I have been in this toolshed before. Looking back, I see I came just to visit the truth, not to become a part of it. The truth was inviting me to follow along the light, to come out to be free and to play in the Light. I felt small compared to the Light and I feared that Play with such a huge God could feel rough to one as small and as ashamed as I. I often exited the woodshed stirred, but not changed.


In today’s scripture we sit with a group of Jews including Jesus in the Temple as he teaches and debates with soul-changing brilliance. He preaches as an ethnic and religious Jew, a descendant of Jacob (Israel), from the House of David. His scholarship and teaching are impeccable, pure, and urgent. Jesus is inviting us out into the light of Truth, rooted in committed discipleship. His words are straight out of Jeremiah and Isaiah, messianic stuff. Jesus speaks of long-promised redemption. In the redemptive darkness of the Temple, Jesus’ message pushes through the hopelessness, illuminating ancient specks of temple dust. Some of us gathered with Jesus that day are dazzled, stirred, even. A few dare to look along the light and are changed. 


Two millennia later, I find myself in a familiar woodshed, pondering the powerful shaft of light I have come to call my friend. Its call is at once visceral and ethereal. It stirs me. At the beginning of a new year I am expectant, yet I am tired of being stirred and not being changed. “Father, it’s the dawn of a new year and it feels so late.” “What do you want me to do for you?” asks the Light. “My teacher, let me see again.”… “Go; your faith has made you well.” [Mark 10-52] 


Each of us has spent time in our own toolshed of the Light. Finding the moment when we hear Jesus ask, “What do you want me to do for you?” is a mystery of Faith. It unfolds after many visits, when my hunger for the truth is ultimate, when the form of the discipleship to which I am called is the singular choice of God’s making, for me. I am ready to be asked. I am ready to be free. My answer is simple.


I pray for such clarity for myself and for my beloveds; it is getting late. I am overjoyed for my beloveds who find it and follow it. I am inspired when I see my beloveds at play with the Lord. It is finding ones meaning; the meaning for which God created us each. And that makes Jesus smile.


Musical Reflection - Do Not Be Afraid - Stopford Liverpool



God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always" 

- Third Step Prayer, Alcoholics Anonymous

Gospel

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