"Let me see again"

25May
They came to Jericho. As he and his disciples and a large crowd were leaving Jericho, Bartimaeus son of Timaeus, a blind beggar, was sitting by the roadside. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, ‘Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!’ Many sternly ordered him to be quiet, but he cried out even more loudly, ‘Son of David, have mercy on me!’ Jesus stood still and said, ‘Call him here.’ And they called the blind man, saying to him, ‘Take heart; get up, he is calling you.’ So throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. Then Jesus said to him, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ The blind man said to him, ‘My teacher, let me see again.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Go; your faith has made you well.’ Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way.

 -Mark 10:46-52

This past Tuesday, May 21st was the eighth anniversary of the reception of my priesthood in the Episcopal Church. The title of this ceremony is called, The Reception of Holy Orders. It was a beautiful and joyous day. To some, it might seem like a natural culmination of my journey, and indeed it was. However, as you might imagine, getting to the point of making such a decision was not an easy process. I had been a Dominican friar for twenty years, and ordained a priest for sixteen of those twenty years. To this day, I wear my Dominican cross around my neck in church because I am grounded in my Dominican spirituality, and continue to move forward calling on my roots as a former vowed member of the Order of Preachers. It does indeed define who I am in many ways. So to say the decision was difficult, is an understatement. 


As I was struggling to properly discern this decision, I relied on trusted friends, brother and sister Dominicans, and my Spiritual Director. The Spiritual Director I had at the time of my final decision was a Dominican as well. Sister Noel always offered her wisdom in assisting me in my daily spiritual journey, but more importantly on my possible journey to the Episcopal church. At one point, during one of our sessions, she asked me to use Bartimaeus as a companion on my journey. We quickly reviewed the conversation between Bartimaeus and Jesus. “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus responds with a question. “What do you want me to do for you?” And Bartimaeus responds; “My teacher, let me see again.” Sister Noel challenged me to ask that very question to Jesus myself. And so the words of Bartimaeus became my words and my prayer. I want to see again. Show me the journey forward as a priest and preacher in your Kingdom. 


It was not long after this practice began that I made my decision to “cross the river” from Rome to Canterbury. Arriving at this point was made possible because of God’s grace. It was also made possible because I asked God to heal my blindness, and I thanked Jesus for letting me see again. May the words of Bartimaeus continue to be a part of my prayer. May the words of Bartimaeus also be a part of your prayer.

Musical Reflection - Amazing Grace - Blind Boys of Alabama

May the grace of God open our eyes to see our path forward in helping to bring about the kingdom, and to see our brothers and sisters in need. May the words of Bartimaeus reverberate in our soul. My Teacher, let me see again. Amen.

GraceMeditation

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