Think that you might be wrong.

24Apr
Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’ He asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ The reply came, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.’…Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing....For three days he was without sight.... Now there was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias…He laid his hands on Saul and said, ‘Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on your way here, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.’ And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and his sight was restored. Then he got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.
-Acts 9: 3-10, 17-19


Don’t we all crave a “Road to Damascus” moment? To have a light from heaven flash around us and hear the voice of God tell us what to do with drama, catharsis, and clarity? Yet, even the most famous conversion in history is not as immediate as we want it to be, nor does it merely happen to Saul. Discerning God’s voice requires taking a first step, patient confusion over time, and the fruits of relationship.

 

In those special instances of my life when I have sensed God’s voice, it has been softer, more quiet, like a warm inkling than what is described here. In fact, most of the times I have felt “knocked off my horse,” I have learned to sleep on it, and woken the next day to find any previous sensation of inspired clarity to have faded or even flipped. I recall those handpainted signs on telephone poles across New Orleans, “Think that you might be wrong.” The last thing any of us want to do is to leap for the will of God only to discover we’ve acted against God on behalf of the voice of ego, fear, or projection. How can we discern if we’re hearing the voice of God?

 

The drama of Paul on the road can keep us from seeing a critical fact of his conversion: that it is not total and immediate. It can only cause Saul to take the first step, following Jesus’s instruction to “get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.” Saul doesn’t enter the city with clarity but with the confusion of all-out blindness and hunger. After a lifetime of prayer discerning that God wanted him to eradicate Jesus-followers, how could he trust this was God’s voice? What completes the conversion – “like scales fell from his eyes” – is the fruit of a new relationship. Ananias (likewise taking a first step) shows up, calls him brother, and lays hands on him. Only then does Saul see and get baptized. And, like a faithful New Orleanian, eats. 


Musical Reflection - I Can See Clearly Now - Johnny Nash


Jesus, let us follow the model of Paul and Ananias. Give us the prayerful commitment to listen for your voice, the courage to take the first step, and the patience to rest blindly in confusion for fruits to be born. Above all, send us into the relationships that faithfully affirm your deepest desires for us and the world, and give us our daily bread to regain the strength we will need to move forward to serve it. Amen

Listening

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